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"Well, perhaps sometimes, Kelly, I suppose you could say that, yes." Did I really mean that? It was too late. I'd already said it."I wish I could understand you, Ben." And then she began to cry."I wish I could understand myself. But I do love you, Kelly, I swear."She did not answer me but continued to cry silently. The pillow was now wet with her tears. I kissed her wet salty cheek but she told me to leave her alone. I told her I didn't mean to upset her but she ignored me. I kissed her once more and this time she told me to go away. I knew she meant it too; her actual words allowed for no ambiguity. I slipped on some swimming shorts and leaving her in our bedroom, went out to the pool.I felt really invigorated after swimming a dozen or so lengths. I climbed out and sat on a chair to dry off in the sun. I looked around me. We were situated near the top of a small hill. Carl's villa was in its own large grounds. There was any number of olive trees dotted around. The boundary of the. ”“This is really weird. It’s not even Lent.”“Except it is,” I said gently. “We call it ‘Little Lent’ as opposed to ‘Great Lent’. This is the Nativity Fast, as opposed to the main one, which you know as ‘Lent’, which comes before Pascha, or Easter.”“So you don’t just like give up candy or something?”“No. If you want to know what being married to me would be like this is just a small taste.”“Why didn’t you tell me when we were dating?”“Because you wouldn’t even set foot in church, so, in the end, it really didn’t matter. From my perspective, if I could get you to go to church, we could ease into the fasting rules and come up with something that worked for us. The rules are a bit flexible, if you will, because it’s a rule like in ‘ruler’ or measuring stick, not like in ‘law’ or game rules.”“So you don’t have to do it?”“Yes and no,” I said. “It’s about spiritual discipline. So not doing it is not taking advantage of all the tools God gives us to help us stay in union with Him. And fasting.
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